They say Giving up doesn’t always mean that you’re weak, but that you’re strong enough to let go.
So I gave up on two things in my life,
Getting taller and You.
To seek a Great Perhaps
Pas a pas, se va luenh. Step by step, we make our way.
Change
It’s been forever since I last updated my blog. Well, I wanted to write something new but was never in a mood. Even now, so this might just a random blog post, or not. So far, Singapore was good. Friendly people, cute kids and what not. Yet, there are things that I miss about Lanka. And then, people. Who would have gone even if I was there anyway. So once in a while, it just hits me. How much the people have changed. And how many have gone already. That’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt. Oh and “The fault in our stars” movie is coming. Fingers crossed. Pretty sure it’s gonna be an amazing one.
Departed
It’s been quite long since I last blogged. Probably because I was busy with migrating and getting used to the new country. It wasn’t hard as I thought anyway.
So Singapore, so far an amazing country. People are cool. Roads are clean, goods aren’t cheap but in certain shops they are. Missing Lanka yet? Nope. Racists have burned down a ‘Fashion Bug’ in Pepiliyana. Not cool at all. I could have made this a long post by saying how people change and be not what we expect them to be. But well, that’s what life is. When you see the falling apart from the very beginning, you can’t really complain. Still, I wish I could stay one more week in SL and be with Sarah for a while. She came, I left – not fair at all. But yeah I keep saying someday, ’cause someday’s ain’t a cord for never. Someday’s happen. The joy of believing in a ‘someday’.
So here I am, looking at the singapore – malaysian border from my room window, thinking where to start seeking a great perhaps
.
The Pupil
This is the English translate of a story I read ages back in some newspaper. I think the author is Ashoka Handagama, who directed some movies which caused a huge controversy in the country. But the story indeed is very true, first conclusions can be delusional. And then girls are complex, they confuse everything. :P
A young male teacher is teaching in a teens class. Let’s think the subject he’s teaching is Health. He asks a question from the students in the class.
“What is the organ that gets nearly 3 times larger in an Excitement? “
The class gets fretful. A girl stands up and starts scolding the teacher.
” You’re such a freak. You just trying to make the girls in our class uncomfortable by asking such things. You should be ashamed of yourself “
The Teacher smiles, asks the girl to sit down calmly and asks the class if they have any other answers.
A guys stands up, smiles innocently and answers.
” The Pupil of the Eye “
Shit day
This happened like 2 or one and half years back. We had this chemistry class every Saturday. The lecturer was this dramatic fellow, okay wait he was a great teacher indeed but created some drama occasionally.
There were 3 groups in the hall. The very left one was for the boys, the middle one was for both genders the front rows were girls and back rows were boys and the right group was for girls. We normally sat in the middle group, normally one row behind right after the girls rows ended.
So someday a new girl came to the chem class. Yeah the class was huge but it was easy to know that she’s new. She sat in the right side group which had only girls but right next to our row. Well, she wasn’t pretty at all. Anyway that day ended. A week after that a new guy joined the class. He seemed to be an year older than us but appeared to be a Royalist. He requested to sit in the right corner of our row, right next to that girl. Our row was a bit packed but we let him sit there. It was obvious that they both were going out and they used to talk and pass notes when the lecturer wasn’t looking. I assume they both didn’t have any cellphones because nobody seemed to text by any chance. Anyway, this continued for like a month and the love story kept going, strong.
But this day, the guy came early but the girl came a bit late. So there was no space in that girls row which was right next to us. So she had to sit somewhere far away. The guy looked upset, he wasn’t paying any attention to the lesson. Well they never did anyway. Through the last bit of Jeewaka explaining Carboxylic Acids on the white board this guy took out his notebook and started scribbling..
Shit day Shit day Shit day Shit day Shit day Shit day Shit day Shit day
When I Was Your Man
I came across this amazing song, As I couldn’t blog for a while I thought of posting it here. The lyrics are amazing and so is the melody.
Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio but it don’t sound the same
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down
Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name
Our song on the radio but it don’t sound the same
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down
Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name
It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby’s dancing
But she’s dancing with another man
My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby’s dancing
But she’s dancing with another man
Although it hurts
I’ll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I’m probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know
I hope he buys you flowers
I hope he holds your hand
Give you all his hours
When he has the chance
Take you to every party
Cause I remember how much you loved to dance
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your man
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your man
Why do men watch porn.
I have this friend who comes up with the most random questions on earth. And yesterday she came up with this. I had a pretty hard time explaining it too. I don’t know whether I’m allowed to post explicit content here. But whatever, I’m just gonna write.
So porn, sexually explicit media content was invented shortly after the moving picture was invented in 1895. Which apparently has a pretty long history. Anyway when kids becomes teenagers , their curiosity mostly lead them here. Why? Because it’s the most innocent way to fulfill their sexual desires. It’s the easiest way to do, no cost, no risk you just have to close your room door. So the early teens watching explicit content can be justified to a certain extent, it’s their hormones.
Moving on to single men, why do they watch porn? Because they are single of course. It’s fun, it would be like watching a soccer game or a basketball game or whatever. In soccer, it’s the same thing again and again. Everybody kicks the ball, goalie catches the ball, maybe there would be a penalty shoot out. After all we know it ends up in the same way, one team wins. So in porn, even if it’s the same thing over and over (though there’s a huge variety in it) having the main concept as sex, men don’t get bored with it. It comes with their nature.
Here comes the confusing part. Why do men who go out watch porn? Well, now I’m not answering this with any my personal experience. I never had a proper relationship in my life so I’m just concluding things. First reason again, it’s fun. No matter you’re married or not you enjoy a basketball match in the same way. 2nd reason, it’s not demanding and you don’t feel responsible for that. You don’t have to go through hours of seduction to move to the 2nd base in it. You just turn it on and get straight to the job, less trouble. More over, porn is innocent. I mean if you’re guy comes and asks you for a threesome, maybe it’d be the end of your relationship, or maybe you’d like it. It all depends on what type of a girl you are. So just because he watches group sex, doesn’t mean he’s gonna have it. Just because he watches sportsman’s double, doesn’t mean he’s gonna hit on your mom. Next thing, those women are pretty. No offense but it’s like in real life you can’t go bang Sasha Grey or Tila Tequila, but in porn you can get close to that. It’s more like it’s in their DNA. Just because you don’t watch porn, it doesn’t mean you’re a saint and because you do, doesn’t mean you’re a sinner. As women are from earth, so is men, just deal with it. After all, we two genders are inter-dependent.
So ladies if your guy watches porn, don’t make a big fuss about it. But if he’s a big addict then you need to talk to him. You can’t really get mad at the guy for looking at a porn star on a DVD doing her job. It would be another thing if he knew that woman, but chances are that he doesn’t know her. So act as you should.
But after all, porn is like getting drunk. After you throw up, you know it wasn’t worth it.
The perks of being a wallflower
So after some time, I watched a really good movie. When I watched the trailer which had the soundtrack of it as It’s time by Imagine Dragons I was positive that this is gonna be a good movie, and It was. The movie is based on a novel by Stephen Chbosky. As most of the movies based on books are pretty good this is good too. Well good sounds an understatement, It’s an amazing movie.
The story is about a boy who is named charlie and the things he goes through in his first year of high school. He sees and understands things, doesn’t talk much which makes him a wallflower. But after he meets Sam and her step-brother Patrick his life changes. Emma Watson acts amazingly and proves that she can be more than a witch. And the soundtracks are amazing, rock and roll and totally my type. Moreover the movie got perfect camera angles, good cast and what not. I’ll leave it for you to watch and judge.
I think this quote is in the book only but still it means a lot.
It’s much easier to not know things sometimes. Things change and friends leave. And life doesn’t stop for anybody. I wanted to laugh. Or maybe get mad. Or maybe shrug at how strange everybody was, especially me. I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and than make the choice to share it with other people. You can’t just sit their and put everybody’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can’t. You have to do things. I’m going to do what I want to do. I’m going to be who I really am. And I’m going to figure out what that is. And we could all sit around and wonder and feel bad about each other and blame a lot of people for what they did or didn’t do or what they didn’t know. I don’t know. I guess there could always be someone to blame. It’s just different. Maybe it’s good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Because it’s okay to feel things. I was really there. And that was enough to make me feel infinite. I feel infinite.
and the ending , is just perfect. It ends with the last letter charlie writes to his unknown friend. I assume it’s for his best friend who shot himself.
So if this does end up being the last letter, I just want you to know that I was in a bad place before I started high school, and you helped me. Even if you didn’t know what I was talking about or know someone’s who’s gone through it, you made me not feel alone. ‘Cause I know there are people who say all these things don’t happen. There are people who forget what it’s like to be 16 when they turn 17. I know these will all be stories some day, and our pictures will become old photographs and we’ll all become somebody’s mom and dad. But right now, these moments are not stories. This is happening. I am here, and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful.
I can see it. This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive. And you stand up and see the lights of the buildings and everything that makes you wonder, and you’re listening to that song on that drive with the people you love most in this world.
And in this moment, I swear, we are infinite.
Bottom line
Life doesn’t always give you what you wish for. You fail, you win everything is a part of life. The thing is, I am not someone who is used to failure. I can’t stand it. I was a winner, always, until now. Well no I don’t think this was a failure. True it’s not like 2 and half years of my education has gone to waste just because I couldn’t get flying colors on my A/L’s. Still I’m just saying, things could have gone better, I saw them going wrong and did nothing about it.
It’s not fate that decides what’s gonna happen. It’s just you. It’s not even kamma. Though it has a pretty much effect on what’s gonna happen. It’s not like we can’t change our own destiny. We are busy writing our life story, everyday. Just because a book has some sad chapters it doesn’t become a tragedy. What’s important is how it ends.
But right now I’m weirdly feeling like maybe, I care too much. Maybe I’m too much of a giver than a receiver. After all the hope and life I’ve given to people where has life taken me? Nowhere. World is unfair. So you can’t cross your hands and wait for something fair to happen. Maybe, I should be a little selfish in this life ’cause maybe, all I’ve done was worth for nothing. From all the things I’ve learned from past two years,
Bottom line : Before you take in others shit, make sure you’re done with your own.
